Calmer Than You Are Anti Keep Calm Shirt Screen Printed MENS White Parody Funny Shirt Your Choice Of Color & Size
If you order a dark colored shirt, I will print the text in white letters. If you order a light colored shirt, I will print the text in black letters. If you have a preference, please send me a note at the time of purchase.
THIS IS NOT A TRANSFER. THIS IS A DIRECT PRINTED SHIRT. IT WILL NOT NEED THE SPECIAL CARE THAT TRANSFER DO. IT WILL HOLD UP TO USE.
THIS IS A UNISEX SHIRT. IF YOU'RE A WOMAN AND LIKE THESE COLORS, PLEASE USE THIS LISTING.
ORDER THE QUANTITY YOU NEED.
SEND ME THE COLOR CHOICE FROM THE SECOND PHOTO WHEN ORDERING.
SEND ME THE SIZE YOU NEED YOUR SHIRT TO BE WHEN ORDERING.
IF ORDERING MORE THAN ONE, SEND ME THE SIZE FOR EACH.
You are ordering ONE SHIRT with each quantity.
Please order the quantity that you need.
The shirt can be in any of the colors in the second photo. Please specify. Order before your color is gone.
IF YOU WANT A DIFFERENT STYLE OF SHIRT, PLEASE JUST EMAIL ME. I'D BE HAPPY TO HELP YOU!
This is a unisex shirt
This t-shirt has a relaxed but tailored fit. The seamless rib collar with double-needle cover-stitching, shoulder to shoulder taping, double-needle sleeve and bottom hem make it a durable wear. Made from 100% pre-shrunk cotton with a fabric weight of 6.1 oz. Ash is made of 90% cotton/10% polyester and heather gray is made from 99% cotton/1% polyester.
Use image 3 to help you choose your size.
IF YOUR COLOR IS SOLD OUT AT THE TIME OF PURCHASE, I WILL EMAIL YOU WITH ALTERNATIVE COLORS.
IMPORTANT : WASHING & CARE INSTRUCTIONS
1) Turn garment inside out and wash in cold water using a mild detergent.
2) Do not use bleach.
3) Dry on a low heat tumble dry. Air drying is best to avoid any cotton shrinking.
4) Do not dry clean.
5) Do not iron directly on design.
I accept PayPal only. Please be sure your PayPal address matches your Artfire address. This will avoid delays in shipping. PayPal requires me to ship to the PayPal address.
If you are new to Artfire and/or online shopping, here is a link that explains the checkout process. This can be confusing to most people.
If you DO NOT HAVE A PAYPAL ACCOUNT. You can still PAY BY ECHECK, DEBIT/CREDIT CARD! Very convenient, yes?
Most shops on Artfire accept payment via PayPal, including payments made by credit or debit card. This is super easy if you, as a shopper, have a PayPal account. However, if you do not have a PayPal account, you may still be able to pay for your purchase with a credit or debit card using PayPal's guest checkout service. (There are some limitations to this option, noted below.)
The first step is to find any item you love and want to buy. Click Add to Cart on the listing page to place the item in your cart. Be sure the listing says the shop owner accepts payment by PayPal and credit cards by checking for these logos in the payment section of the listing:
When you're ready to check out, choose PayPal as your payment method. You'll notice the credit card logos next to the PayPal logo because credit card payments are processed through PayPal.
Fill in the other order details, such as a note to the shop owner, a coupon code, etc.
To proceed, click the Check out with PayPal button. You will be taken to a page on PayPal. You will see where it reads "Don't have a PayPal Account?" Look for a link on the left side of the page that reads "No problem, continue checkout".
You will then be prompted to fill in your contact and credit card information. You will be given the option to create a PayPal account, but you can decline that offer and continue your payment without a PayPal account.
Once you have completed the information on PayPal, you will return to Artfire Checkout to review and submit your final order. No worries! Your payment is not sent until you click the green Submit Order button on Artfire.
Shoppers take note! PayPal may limit the number of times a credit card can be used before requiring that you create a PayPal account. Please contact PayPal's customer support for specific questions about their guest checkout limitations.
THERE IS A 50% NON REFUNDABLE DEPOSIT INCLUDED IN EACH CUSTOM ORDER. IF CANCELLED WITHIN 24 HOURS OF YOUR ORDER, YOU WILL BE REFUNDED IN FULL. IF CANCELLED AFTER 24 HOURS ** FROM PURCHASE YOU WILL ONLY BE REFUNDED 50% OF YOUR PURCHASE PRICE. I REQUIRE THIS TO COVER MY EXPENSES FOR FABRICS AND MATERIALS. CUSTOM ORDERS BECOME COMPLETELY NON REFUNDABLE AFTER 4 DAYS** AS I'VE BEGUN WORK ON THEM.
PLEASE BE SURE THAT YOU WANT YOUR ITEM BEFORE YOU MAKE YOUR PURCHASE. I ORDER FABRICS ON A CASE BY CASE BASIS NORMALLY AND HAVE LIKELY PURCHASED YOUR MATERIALS AS SOON AS YOU PLACE YOUR CUSTOM ORDER.
** custom plates, ornaments, and t-shirts are not subject to the 4 DAY window for cancellation. these are non-refundable after 24 hours of purchase. During the first 24 hours, they will be refunded.
PLEASE NOTE: I CAN ONLY SHIP TO YOUR PAYPAL ADDRESS. PLEASE CHECK THAT YOUR ARTFIRE AND PAYPAL ADDRESS ARE THE SAME BEFORE MAKING PAYMENT. Ship to addresses cannot be changed as per PayPal's policy.
If your order is returned to us due to an incorrect address on your order, shipping charges will apply to re-send it to you at a different address. If tracking shows the package as delivered to the incorrect address on your order, WE DO NOT FREE REPLACE OR REFUND orders due to incorrect shipping addresses provided by the customer.
****IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT SHIPPING****
I PRINT MY SHIPPING LABELS 1-2 DAYS EARLY AT TIMES, FOR CUSTOM ITEMS, BEFORE THEY ARE READY TO SHIP. WHEN I DO THAT, IT MARKS THEM SHIPPED ON ARTFIRE. YOU MAY ALSO RECEIVE A PAYPAL NOTICE ABOUT THE SHIPPING. PLEASE BE AWARE THAT YOUR ITEM WILL SHIP WITHIN 3 DAYS AFTER YOUR LABEL IS PURCHASED.
I ONLY SHIP UNTIL 2 PM ON BUSINESS DAYS, MONDAY THRU FRIDAY EXCLUDING ALL HOLIDAYS. IF YOU RECEIVE AN ARTFIRE OR PAYPAL NOTICE OF SHIPPING AFTER 2 PM, YOUR ITEM WILL SHIP THE FOLLOWING BUSINESS DAY.
If you ordered a custom made item, it will ship in approximately 4-8 weeks. ** Please check "your account" "purchases" for your scheduled ship date. I normally ship sooner, but this would be your latest shipping date as per the listing you ordered from.
I normally ship USPS Priority Mail or First Class Mail with a tracking number. This allows you to have peace of mind about the location of your package. Signature is required on most purchases. This ensures peace of mind for both parties.
Ornaments will ship 2-3 day UPS within 3-5 business days of purchase.
T-Shirts will ship within 2 weeks of purchase.
Custom Made Plates will ship within 2 weeks. They ship 2-3 day UPS.
Most other custom made items ship within 4-6 weeks, sometimes 8. Please check your listing.
Ready to ship items will be shipped within three (3) days of your cleared payment.
If you want to upgrade to USPS Express shipping, please let me know BEFORE you make your purchase. It will save time if I can adjust the listing for you before your purchase.
International orders can take anywhere from 2-8 weeks before they are delivered to you. They need time to travel and to pass through customs. Customs can sometimes run slowly. After they clear customs they will be delivered to you. You may receive a notice from your Country requesting that you pick up an item after paying a fee.
All International orders will be marked as merchandise or other, never marked as gift. It is a Federal Crime in the US to mark the Customs forms with Incorrect information.
All international customs duty charges, taxes, collection fees, etc. are the responsibility of the buyer to receive their delivery in their country. Your country will determine what the fees are. I have no way to calculate them for you.
Orders not picked up at customers postal or customs center and are returned to the sender are non-refundable.
In the event of a shipping issue please refer to the list below for guidelines that we require to assist you.
** ITEM NOT RECEIVED**
If your order tracking number shows that your item was delivered, but you did not receive it please do the following.
1. Check with each member of the household to see if they brought it in for you.
2. Check with neighbors to see if it was left by the carrier at their home in error.
3. Look at all of the doors of your home as well as the bushes around them. Please also check places such as open garages/sheds.
4. Contact your Post Office immediately if you do not locate the package.
Your Post Office will be able to research delivery from their end with the tracking number I provided you. You can request to speak with your mail carrier as to where the package was delivered or where the carrier placed it.
If the above steps do not locate your package the following will be required.
5. Please contact us and advise us what you were informed by your carrier and Post Office. Please include the phone number for your local Post Office. We will also contact your Post Office to report the missing package and request to speak to your carrier for further detail about the package.
6. If your package is not located after steps 1-5, we will send you the link to fill out the USPS STOLEN MAIL forms. You will be REQUIRED to sign an affidavit that you did not receive your order.
7. If your order was insured you will be REQUIRED to sign an affidavit for our insurer whether that be USPS or a Third Party insurer. You will need to state that you did not receive your package. If insured, we will refund in full including shipping once we receive the required signed affidavit.
**ORDERS LOST IN TRANSIT**
Small and lightweight orders are shipped First Class shipping with "estimated delivery time" of 3-5 business days. This is not a guaranteed service by the USPS. It is an estimate. Sometimes issues can occur such as mis-routing, weather conditions in states your package may route through, holidays, etc. Major holidays such as CHRISTMAS can incur much longer shipping times.
If you have received your shipping notification from PayPal and/or Etsy allow up to 8 shipping days and then notify us. We will submit a MISSING MAIL IN TRANSIT form with USPS. This will often shake loose a package that has become stuck at one of the routing stations. We will need to allow additional time to see if this locates your package. It usually will. We will be checking the tracking daily to see if your package has started to move toward its destination before determining it is possibly LOST IN TRANSIT. You will need to be patient and work with us during this process. USPS can sometimes forget to scan an item when they become busy. It does not mean that it's really lost or never shipped.
You will receive a shipping notice from both ARTFIRE and PayPal. Sometimes these can end up in your SPAM folders. Please check there. If you should not receive your order, the notification must be within 10 days of the shipping notice "SENT" date. Exceptions are international orders in which case you have 45 days from Shipping Notice "SENT" date to notify us. We will do everything we can to track your delivery. Please be patient while we work to track it down.
If your package is LOST sufficient time must be allowed for the USPS investigation to check the status of your package. While they attempt to locate it. We will fill out USPS MISSING MAIL forms. We then allow 5-10 days to see if your package has been located and is moving in transit once again. If your package is not located after the investigation period we will proceed with the following. If we have insured your package you will be REQUIRED to sign an affidavit. Refunds will occur after insurance affidavits are signed (if required) and filled out by the purchaser (you) and have been submitted to the insurer.
Contact us Immediately on receipt of the package. We MUST BE CONTACTED WITHIN 24 HOURS OF RECEIPT.
You MUST retain the product and all packaging including the box.
Please include photos of all the damaged product(s) and the damaged package. The photos must be clear for claim purposes. If your order was insured by us your assistance will be REQUIRED to sign an insurance affidavit.
PLEASE RETAIN THE PRODUCT AND THE PACKAGING UNTIL WE LET YOU KNOW TO DISPOSE OF IT. After we have received the clear photos of your product(s) and the signed affidavit we will quickly process a full refund or free replacement to your order.
I want my customers to adore everything they purchase from me. If you are somehow unhappy with your product, please let me know immediately. I will do my best to listen to your ideas and attempt to make adjustments.
***PLEASE REFER TO THE GUIDELINES IN THE SHIPPING SECTION FOR DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT REFUNDS/REPLACEMENTS
**READY TO SHIP**
I accept returns ONLY ON READY TO SHIP items. However, there are some guidelines that need to be followed. The cost of the return shipment is the buyers' responsibility. Please contact me on the day that it arrives and let me know what the issues are. I MUST be notified within 48 hours of its arrival that there's an issue. If we cannot resolve them, please ship the item back within three(3) days. You MUST include delivery confirmation on the return package.
Each article of clothing will have a clothing tag attached to it. THERE ARE NO REFUNDS/RETURNS/EXCHANGES on items that have missing, reattached, or otherwise tampered with clothing tags. Do not remove or alter the tag on the item that you purchase until you know that you want to use/keep it.
Once the package arrives in its original state, a full refund minus shipping will be refunded. If an exchange is desired, your new item will ship out asap.
This situation has never happened to me, but it could. If it should, I want you to be happy.
If you ordered a t-shirt, ornament, or other printed item that you are unhappy with, please contact me within 24 hours of receiving the item. I will need to see clear photos of the issue. Once that is done, a replacement item will be processed and shipped to you. PLEASE RETAIN THE ITEM UNTIL WE LET YOU KNOW IT IS OKAY TO DISPOSE OF IT. Sometimes a return of the item will be needed. I will be unable to help you if you "throw the item away".
**CUSTOM MADE ITEMS**
The ONLY time that a return is not allowed is for a specialty item. I cannot take costumes, custom made for you orders, or special occasion clothing back. I would gladly make alterations to them if needed.
**CUSTOM ORDER INFORMATION**
It is the Purchasers responsibility to ensure they order the correct product, the correct design, provide the correct date and spelling of all names, color choices, etc. on their order.
Your order will be created exactly as your order states and NO refunds, exchanges, returns or reproductions will apply if errors are provided by the purchaser and your order is already in production or has been shipped.
Additional Policies and FAQs
All of my items are created in a smoke-free environment in the USA. They are securely packaged and shipped quickly.
Custom made items are my specialty, so please contact me if you need something that you cannot find.
RUSH ORDERS are welcome for a fee of 20/25 dollars. Rush order is something custom made that is needed before 5 weeks' time. Current turn-around time on custom made items is approximately 5- 6(sometimes 8) weeks. Please check listings for details.
Monitors, cell phones, notepads, laptops, etc. are all calibrated differently for color display. Colors and may vary slightly from one display to another or from how they appear in person. I produce from the color choice you selected as it appears on my highly calibrated monitor.